It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
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