you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
