I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
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