I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
