you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize
