matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize