just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
