he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Come see our sink grown plant.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
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