Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
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