he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
