Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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