She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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