Pants 0. Shit 1.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
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