you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize