Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
