Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize