Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
