foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
