OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
