I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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