Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
I faked an abortion last night.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
