My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
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