he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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