I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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