whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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