I think I won the penis lottery.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
