If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Randomize
