I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
