I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize