You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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