Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
