Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
