How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
