we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
That accounts for only three of the penises
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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