Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
