1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I need to calm my uterus...
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
