just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize