If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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