he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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