The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
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