just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
