Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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