take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
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