I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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