Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
