Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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