Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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