I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
