JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
