so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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