i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Randomize
