I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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