I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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