drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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