so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
In America we eat man semen.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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